


Parts of Your Worlds

by raven_aorla



Category: Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Gen, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Technically cyborg not robot, meet cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 00:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15960824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven_aorla/pseuds/raven_aorla
Summary: A grab bag of moments through alternate universes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm open to suggestions!

_1\. Hogwarts_

Seth had been alone working on this stupid Potions essay for two hours when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see a younger boy wearing eyeliner, yellow and black nail polish, and a ripped shirt that said HONEY BADGER DON’T CARE, though the actual honey badger was obscured under his partly open robes. His robes that seemed vaguely sparkly. It wasn't so much breaking the dress code as parodying it. “Can I help you? Also, how did you get into the Ravenclaw common room?”

“Oh please, Stefon Zolesky has friends in all five houses. I’m Stefon, by the way.”

“Five?”

“The fifth is very exclusive. I promised not to reveal their name.” Zolesky grinned and handed Seth an invitation. In elegant, though slightly lopsided cursive, it said:

_HOGWARTS’ HOTTEST PARTY will be held in the Room of Requirement this Friday night to celebrate the birthday of the giant squid who lives in our moat. This party will have everything: pasties, butterbeer, divination but using melted ice cream instead of tea leaves, an extra-shaky broom that only metaphorically takes you anywhere, dancing, Muggleborns trying to explain Korean pop music, a chubby little Puffskein that dreams of better things, ghost pong..._

“What’s ghost pong?” Seth asked.

“It’s that thing where you throw small balls through ghosts until they get mad at you and attempt to throw them back.”

“Your party sounds awful, though I appreciate that you…”

“I’m glad it fills you with awe! Hope to see you there!” Zolesky suddenly kissed him on the cheek and ran away.

*

_2\. Daemons_

“You need to calm down, Stefon, it’s gonna go great,” Semele whispered, clinging to the side of his face. She didn’t say a lot, but at least adult luna moths _had_ mouths. When she’d been trying out different moth and butterfly forms he made her promise not to settle as an Atlas, because that shit’s freaky.

The makeup artist cleared her throat. “Could you please ask your daemon to move so that I can put a bit of foundation on? Otherwise you’ll look shiny under the lights.” Stefon liked that her mouse daemon was helping fetch brushes. Efficient.

“She likes lights,” Stefon mumbled, playing with his sleeves and wishing he could melt into an anonymous jacked-up crowd. Drugs could do only so much against stage fright. But Semele fluttered down to cling to his shirt like a fuzzy minty green triangle brooch, and he lightly scratched her thorax with his pinky and felt a little better.

Thank God for dress rehearsal, too. Maybe he could throw up now and get it out of the way before they were actually on live TV. He entered the studio on cue, Semele clinging to his bangs like the best accessory ever. Alarmingly sexy (in a buttoned-up boy-next-door way) Seth Meyers introduced him and the crowd politely clapped, not sure what to make of him yet. Seth’s daemon, an adorable mini greyhound named Frizbi who spent Update segments perched in his lap, stood and wagged her tail.

Stefon exhaled slowly as he slid over in the wheeled chair. “Thanks for having me - Sem, what are you doing?”

She was perching on Frizbi’s nose, was what she was doing, and Frizbi was looking at her kinda cross-eyed because dog anatomy. No attempt to shake her off, though. The audience was silent.

Seth Meyers was blushing, but he addressed the masses like a showbiz pro. “Uh. Dress rehearsal, am I right? Maybe we’ll save that for the non-existent DVD extras.” The tension broke and they laughed. Semele was far too pleased with herself after.

*

_3\. Superpowers_

Nobody understood Seth Meyers when he complained about having effortless, uncontrollable charisma, being universally adored by everyone who met him in person, online hate notwithstanding. His brother Josh, a shapeshifter, actually imprinted on Seth as a baby and was now stuck looking more like twins with his older sibling whenever in human form. Other cases were less extreme. It wasn't mind control, just that everyone seemed to fall in love with him, whether romantically or not.

Yeah, it was great for his career and convenient for everyday life. By his thirties, though, Seth felt lonely. Empty. He regretfully broke up with his girlfriend, who was beautiful and brilliant and kind, because he worried he was brainwashing her without meaning to. He wondered if she really would have loved him otherwise. She was out of his league, after all.

Stefon constantly hitting on him in a weirdly cute way had to be another manifestation of that. Not everyone flirted with Seth, but it was more common than normal. They were such different people. Stefon was such an exotic hothouse plant. How could he really find Seth interesting? Seth enjoyed bantering with him, but he didn’t want to go through all that doubt again, so he kept him at arm’s length.

Then the fateful day came when Stefon told him, on-air, that he was going to get married. Seth didn't expect to be so devastated when he walked away, but it was for the best. Stefon deserved to be in love for real. Time to focus on tree frogs.

Amy Poehler was a high-level empath, who was one of his favorite people because she knew, felt in her bones, that he wanted genuine reactions. Mostly. It was like old times when she swiveled around in her chair and looked at him like they were about to launch into a _Really?!_ rant together. “You didn’t know?”

Seth couldn’t bring himself to care about going off-script. The audience would love him anyway. “Didn’t know what?”

She removed the mic from her lapel and said, too quietly for anyone else to hear, “Stefon’s a Null-Psych. I can sense it, and he’s strong as hell. I don’t think he even knows you’ve got a gift.”

A Null-Psych. A rare power class that meant complete immunity to all forms of psychic influence. _He likes me for me._

Seth ran after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it comes to the daemons, I gave Stefon a moth because he's a social butterfly, but largely nocturnal. Also, Seth is his flame. She's named after the mother of party god Dionysus. I couldn't resist giving Seth his real life Italian greyhound Frisbee, but changed the spelling to make it more daemon aesthetic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks to butterscotch for brainstorming help and content feedback!

_4\. Mob/Noir_

“On Tuesday, recently convicted mob boss David Zolesky’s younger brother, nightclub manager Stefon, was found Not Guilty of any involvement in David’s illegal activities. Upon release, he informed the press of his club’s many attractions instead of answering any questions. His lawyer, part-time postmodern conceptual artist Shiloh Fittenfinder, told The Huffington Post that Stefon is ‘too adorable to dislike’.” A picture of Stefon appeared on the screen, putting his hands over his face as if intimidated by the courtroom, and Seth added, “Is it weird that I agree?” 

Cartoon hearts appeared around Seth’s head through the magic of television. The audience laughed and Seth moved onto the next segment, thinking nothing more of it.

Until days later, when Seth’s efforts to get some _serious_ journalism done regarding a recent string of disappearances resulted in being abducted himself by three men in Robocop masks. It was his fault, really. While he didn’t think David Zolesky himself was responsible, the power vacuum left by his arrest was definitely responsible for an uptick in gang warfare. His motivation for trespassing on private property looking for new information to work with hadn’t been entirely noble, either. He was tired of being known as a primarily satirical talk show host. The thought of a Peabody award was a powerful temptation, enough to go himself rather than send any of his writers. 

After an embarrassingly brief struggle, he woke up handcuffed to a radiator in a dimly lit basement. Alone. He hadn’t finished tugging and debating whether or not to call for help when he heard two pairs of footsteps. Seeing who it was required him to twist around to the furthest extent of his range.

First came a stupefyingly tall, muscular woman in a black-on-black suit, with both a stun gun and a handgun. Then came...Stefon. Colorfully dressed and sweaty like he’d just been pulled off the dance floor, which maybe he had. His pupils were dilated and he kept touching his own face. When the woman looked Seth up and down and said, “Clear, sir,” with a voice as deep as the mighty Mississippi, he crouched down and touched Seth’s forehead with the very tips of his fingers. Seth willed himself not to move.

Stefon gasped. “Oh, it really is Seth Meyers. Jacked Beth, give me the key.”

“What’s going on?” Seth asked as neutrally as he could.

“Shhhh, not yet. They were so rude to you! I’m really sorry. I’ll buy you dinner.” He unlocked the cuffs and helped Seth to his feet.

This turned out to mean a pair of little people setting up a card table and two chairs in the basement and carrying down a fresh pizza and a big plastic jug of spring water. Stefon watched the proceedings while vaguely dancing to no music. Seth checked for his wallet, keys, and phone. All were missing, and he wanted a better read on the situation, so instead of saying anything about them yet he rubbed at his wrists. 

“Leave his hands free. I don’t know him well enough for bondage _and_ feeding.” Stefon poured a glass for Seth, then took a long swig directly from the jug. “Not yet, anyway. Hi! I’m Stefon.”

“I know who you are.”

“Right, right, you talked about me on your show. I’m super high right now.” He giggled and helped himself to a slice of pizza. “C’mooooon, Seth Meyers, I don’t share with just anybody.”

“What are you going to do with me?” ‘With’ rather than ‘to’ felt more optimistic.

“I bought you dinner. And we’re gonna chat and be friends, and maybe more later, but I’m not gonna push you into that.” He rolled up his slice so he could shove the whole thing in his mouth as one long tapered cylinder, but not a sexily as the phrase suggested. “Friends tell each other things.”

Seth cautiously sipped his water and then took a slice. He actually was hungry, and he wanted to stay in Stefon’s good graces. He was fairly certain by now that Stefon did not seriously wish him harm. “You, uh, watch my show?”

“Yes! You and Anderson Cooper, but he’s never said anything nice about Stefon. Go ‘awww’, Beth.”

“Awwwww,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

Stefon drank more water. “You’re so perfect, Seth Meyers, except for when you sneak around asking questions about me. What did you go and do that for?”

“I wasn’t asking about you. I was following up on a lead.”

“But you were on my family’s property.”

“That wasn’t about you.”

“It’s never about me.” He pouted.

Beth cleared her throat. “Sir.”

“Whaaaaat? It’s okay! Because we’re going to be friends!” Stefon drank more water and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “There’s a bunch of David’s enemies that think I know more than I do. The police say I’m safe, but I’m probably not. The hobocops thought you were one of those. They don’t watch your show.”

Stefon stopped talking in favor of stuffing his face. Eventually he said, “Hey, I’m a bit tired. Do you want to watch some TV with me?”

“I’d like to go home, please.”

“Oh.” Stefon looked so sad that Seth felt unreasonably guilty.

“What show?” This could be an opportunity to see if Stefon knew anything about Seth’s case even if he wasn’t directly involved.

“I’ve been catching up on Boston Legal...”

“Maybe one episode, if I don’t have to be handcuffed. Or tied up. Or duct taped. Or anything like that.”

Beth visibly didn’t like this idea, but Stefon clapped. “We could cuddle! Or not. If you don’t want to, that won’t affect whether you’re going home or not, I promise. I am SO high.”

“You said that.”

“Your aura is amazing.”

“That’s good to know. I need to use the bathroom first, if that’s okay with your bodyguard.”

They didn’t cuddle, but Stefon leaned on his shoulder, occasionally sucking on his own fingers like they were a bouquet of pacifiers. He shushed Seth every time Seth tried to pursue actual journalism, telling him to focus. Stefon picked an episode he claimed was the funniest, though it was actually his running commentary that was so funny Seth couldn’t help but giggle himself despite the...everything...about the situation. Beth glowered from the corner.

Seth wasn’t comfortable telling either of them his address, so Stefon told Beth to drive them to a subway station. He sat next to Seth the whole way, but quieter and quieter. “Beth, put your weapons away and make sure he gets on a train okay. Rhyming.”

“Sir…”

“You’ve been very rude tonight, Jacked Beth. I’mma stay in the car so we’re not seen together. I want you to be safe. Here’s your phone and your wallet and your keys. Nice Steelers keychain.” Stefon took them out of his pockets and handed them back.

How long had they been there? “Oh. Uh. Thanks.”

“I’m sorry about the hobocops and the handcuffs. We’re cool, right? I visited David. I don’t think I’d do well in prison. You were sneaking around my brother’s storage unit, my staff detained you a little too hard, it all evens out, right? I love him, but what he's done is his own problem. As long as you know I don't know anything more than I've testified. I wanna be cool with you.”

“Um…”

Stefon leaned over and softly kissed him on the cheek. “Goodnight. I’ll let you pick the place next time.”

While bustling Seth towards the subway entrance, Beth said, “I’m not really his bodyguard, though I do guard him. I’m his minder. His brother pays me.”

“Huh?”

“He’s not well, but he’s sweet. He was always too sweet for the family. I was taking basic precautions. Don’t make me have to protect him from you for real.”

“As far as I’m concerned, this was one long, weird dream or something,” Seth said. “Will he even remember this in the morning?”

She shrugged. But yellow roses arrived the next day, with a card that said, “I’m really sorry about that. If I’d been sober I would have just apologized, expressed admiration, and sent you home. Friends?” There was a phone number underneath.

After some thought, Seth saved the number in his phone as “beautiful nightmare”.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for non-consensual (but well-meant and not harmful) drugging, and the uncomfortable implications of a person created in a lab being treated like a possession. 
> 
> This is inspired by a canonical Stefon joke and is also a low-key crossover with Superfruit's music video [GUY.EXE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2Kh_XMIDPU). It takes inspiration from [Seth and Josh Meyers Go Day-Drinking in Brooklyn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iqS8HXBbVs), too.

_5\. Cyborg/Cute Frankenstein's Monster_

Seth Meyers has this thing where he wants his new husband and his brother to bond in ways other than Stefon making unsubtle comments about how much Josh looks like a more dashing version of Seth. That’s how Stefon ends up getting dragged along on a session of brotherly day drinking in Brooklyn, all craft beers, mimosas, absinthe pina coladas and retro arcade games Seth is hilariously bad at. It’s fun, though, and everything is absolutely fine until a mildly slurring but otherwise _fine_ Seth suddenly falls off his barstool and onto the floor. 

Before Stefon has time to do anything other than put his hands over his mouth to contain the scream - it’s nothing more dramatic than what’s happened to himself plenty of times, but that’s in some horrorshow hotspot surrounded by cokeheads, not at a barcade in the afternoon and most importantly not to Seth Meyers - Josh has leapt onto the floor next to him and is taking his pulse. Sort of. Normally people don’t take pulses by pinching an earlobe, right? Stefon’s not drunk, but he’s dizzy all of a sudden.

“We gotta take him back to the lab,” Josh says, frowning under the mustache Stefon feels mildly guilty about finding hot sometimes.

“What?” He couldn't possibly mean a meth lab, right? That wouldn't help. 

The frown deepens. “He hasn’t told you?” Then he picks Seth up in a fireman’s carry like he weighs nothing, and shouts to the rest of the barcade about this all being for a Mad TV/Late Night crossover sketch, carry on. 

Stefon can’t get any more info out of Josh as he drives them to the “lab”, other than being told that the doctor will explain. So he just sits in the backseat and cradles Seth, whose head is in his lap and who doesn’t seem unconscious or dead. Just...empty. 

“Oh, by the way, sorry,” Josh says calmly as they reach a neighborhood Stefon doesn’t recognize, which is rare for him in this city. 

“Wha-” Then Josh twists around and stabs a needle in his neck.

Stefon wakes up on a comfy couch in a pink-and-purple lit basement room pumping with synth pop music, which is not rare for him in his city. But when he sits up, his Seth is lying facedown on a metal table with his shirt off and there is a panel open on his back, and a fabulously dressed one-glass-eyed supervillain-mustached hottie in a lab coat and five-inch platforms is messing around in there with a screwdriver. Josh is sitting on a stool and holding Seth’s limp hand. 

“I keep telling you boys to steer away from hipster foodie places that put kale in everything,” he grumbles. "Who puts kale in a martini and doesn't advertise the fact?"

“Sorry, Doctor. They just called it the James Pond Special.” Josh pets Seth’s hair. “Is Soofie going to be okay?”

“Should be once I’ve replaced this wire. When I’ve got him functioning again, might as well give you a few more gray hairs. It’s starting to get suspicious.”

“Can’t we wait another few months?”

He clicks his tongue. “Hush, Daddy’s working.”

Stefon sits up. “Oh my God, you really _were_ built by a gay scientist.”

“Plural. My assistants are gay ladies, but this is their day off. It’s my day off too, but noooo, you just had to get yourselves in trouble. Hand me the thingy over there, Poshie, I need to close him up.” The scientist points at Stefon. “You. Have you ever noticed anything that made you think he might be a bio-engineered cyborg?”

“Not seriously, except one time when I was really high.”

“Hah! It’s working! Soon my creations will infiltrate the entire male side of the entertainment industry!” He twirls around in his seat triumphantly before grabbing the tools Josh is holding out to him. 

“Why do you want to do that?” A horrible thought crosses Stefon’s mind. “You’re not...you don’t use them for...at least not Seth....” He doesn’t want to have to murder the person responsible for Seth’s maintenance. 

But he waves dismissively. “Nah, I’ve kept the first successful one for myself. He’s recording an album in our home studio as we speak. I'm improving the entertainment industry. For EVERYONE.”

Certain celebrity crushes spring to mind. "Did you make….”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.” 

“We send him part of our earnings; that’s how he stays in business,” Josh says. “Though he did have to lease Soofie to Lorne Michaels for five years after an unfortunate card game. The rest of the years were his own idea ‘cause he liked SNL so much. Sorry I knocked you out. We’re not allowed to reveal this location.”

Stefon sits up, stretches, and shrugs. “What’s a bit of drugging between in-laws? Speaking of, who are those people I met who say they’re your parents?”

“Handlers. We do think of them as our parents, though. They helped teach us how to blend in. We weren’t exactly going to learn how to do that from this guy.” There’s fondness to the shade Josh is throwing, and the scientist simply snorts and focuses on closing Seth up again. 

“These two have a similar physical template - I call it the ‘Wholesome Hugh Grant’ - but they have different stats. I was still in the early stages. Figuring it all out. Oh, congrats, mazel tov, et cetera. Sorry I didn’t come to the reception. I heard it was New York’s hottest party, but I try not to associate with my creations in public. Done! Wake up, cutie pie.” 

Seth opens his eyes. Josh helps him to a seated position with his legs dangling off the bench. Upon seeing Stefon, Seth’s face falls and he starts to hyperventilate and Stefon can’t even with that, he doesn't want to see him like that. But Josh hugs him from behind and whispers in his ear, presumably talking him down, and Seth's eyes dart back and forth between him, the scientist, and Stefon until his breathing evens out. 

"He's being super chill. Just be honest." The scientist pats Seth on the knee.

Seth gulps and says, “Stefon, I didn’t know how to tell you. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you, even the smallest chance that you might not be able to handle...”

“No, no, no, no, no.” Stefon crosses the room to kiss him and hold him close. He’s warm and real and puts his arms around him to squeeze with the exact right amount of pressure, and Stefon doesn’t give a damn how it started or how it works. “You’re going to have to put up with cyborg jokes, but we’re cool, Seth Meyers. I should have known you were too perfect.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every participant in anything sexual in this ficlet is under 18, but everyone is at least 16, which is the U.K. age of consent. It's cute high school shenanigans. No adults are going after non-adults.

_1.2 Hogwarts AU: Reprise_

There weren’t a lot of out and proud boys at Hogwarts, okay? Stefon’s efforts to add Seth Meyers to that count had all flopped so far, so now that he was 16 and Seth was 17 he’d finally decided to look elsewhere. Anderson Cooper didn't have everything, but he had cheekbones that could cut glass, arms that should be a crime to hide under long sleeves, and a giggle that could practically heal the sick and raise the dead. 

So what if he wasn’t Seth Meyers? 

So what if Stefon closed his eyes tight?

This wasn’t the first time the two of them had sneaked out to the castle grounds after dark for a bit of privacy. The Room of Requirement was currently occupied with a group of students practicing comedy sketches to perform for the rest of the school next Saturday night, live. Besides, Stefon liked lying in the cool grass under the stars. Anderson was a gentleman and didn’t pressure him to take his clothes off. 

They’d placed their wands a short ways away to avoid snapping them in their enthusiasm. Mid-kiss, Stefon suddenly felt a sharp sense of dread and nearly choked on Anderson’s tongue. Anderson’s eyes went wide and he sat up. 

Off in the distance, a floating black-robed shape. 

A Dementor.

Stefon felt memories he didn’t want resurfacing: memories of his stepfather shouting at him, overhearing his mother calling him a mistake, though she never told him that to his face. Childhood bullies. Accidentally killing his pet rabbit with sparks from his fingers that he had no context for. His first night at Hogwarts, homesick and crying because he was the only wizard in the family and none of this made sense. Learning what “mudblood” meant and what it sounded like when spat out in his direction. Already knowing what other slurs meant, and learning through experience that wizards and witches used them too. His first holiday from Hogwarts with his half-brother David telling him, _I don’t even know you anymore, bro._

Stefon put his hands over his face like he always did when feeling too much, and he couldn’t move. He simply couldn’t. Even if he could have, he’d never managed more than a non-corporeal Patronus under ideal conditions. 

Anderson managed to roll off him and grab his own wand. “Expecto patronum!” The silvery mist this produced started to look somewhat fox-shaped before it dissolved again.

“EXPECTO PATRONUM!” someone screamed. Then a giant otter Patronus darted through the air and looped several times around the Dementor until it fled. Seth Meyers ran towards Stefon, calling out, “Stefoooon!”

“Seth?!”

Seth dropped to his knees and wrapped Stefon in a hug. “There was an announcement about a rogue Dementor and McKinnon got upset and said you and Cooper were probably here…”

One day Stefon would find out how Kate knew everything about everyone. “Shh, I’m okay. I’m okay. Thank you.”

“Stefon, what I mean to say is...I….oh, what the hell.” Seth took Stefon’s face in both hands and kissed him. Clumsily, but it was so much, so so so much better kissing someone Stefon actually had feelings for.

Time stopped. For a bit. It never stops forever. 

“You’ve been holding out on me, Seth Meyers,” Stefon murmured when time started again, resting his forehead against Seth’s.

“When I was talking about how I, well, I how I feel about you, Amy told me it wasn’t too late.”

“I should have known,” Anderson said, resigned.

Guiltily, Seth pulled away from Stefon. “Cooper.”

“Meyers.”

“Er.”

“Forget it. I owe you one, and it’s not like we were getting married. We never even said we were properly dating.” Anderson gently tossed Stefon’s wand towards him. It bounced off Stefon’s face, which was more a comment on Stefon’s athletic abilities than any bitterness from Anderson. 

“I don’t want to make you feel worse.” Seth helped Stefon up. “My brother, Josh, is two years younger you and me, but he’s in your house and I’m sure he’ll give you an alibi if you need one.”

“That’s nice of him. But I’m fine. I’m absolutely fine." He kept a white-knuckle grip on his wand the whole way back.

Fortunately, Anderson’s friend and fellow Gryffindor Andy Cohen intercepted them inside. He shoved an enormous heart-shaped box of artisanal candies at Anderson. “Was saving them for a special gift, but I think you need them stat.”

“Who were you saving them for?” Anderson asked.

“Oh, honey. I suppose I shouldn’t expect keen observation skills from you right now.” Cohen put an arm around his shoulders and waved off Seth and Stefon. “I’ll take good care of him. Go hold hands somewhere else.”

Stefon hadn’t realized they were holding hands. 

*

EPILOGUE:

Yes, they all got in trouble. Professor Michaels commented that a Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor all being out after curfew and during a lockdown was excellent news for his own house, as well as sounding like the setup for a joke. He ate from a self-refilling bowl of popcorn while supervising the three of them writing RULES ARE FOR MY OWN GOOD over and over. But after the lost points and the detentions were all over, he still had Seth, his real actual boyfriend Seth. He eventually had his friend Anderson back, too, once everything had simmered down and Andy had ostentatiously danced with him at the Yule Ball. 

“I keep forgetting to ask: what did you think about so you could cast your Patronus?” Stefon asked after the first time they'd gone to bed together, months later. Seth’s roommate, Taran Killam, had agreed to stay away for a few hours in exchange for two of Seth’s hoarded Muggle comic books. V-card punching was serious business.

“I tried a few things, but it wasn’t like in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It took something I hadn’t tried before.” Seth was curled up next to Stefon under the fluffy duvet, playing big spoon despite Stefon being slightly taller. They liked being both spoon sizes, so they took turns. He kissed the back of Stefon’s neck. “I thought about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had already written and posted the daemon AU before I watched an interview in which Seth answers the question: "What's your spirit animal?" I had to do something with his answer, but didn't want to contradict myself. I envision his Patronus as specifically the giant river otter in the Amazon, which lives in small, close-knit family groups and mostly eats fish and squeaks adorably, but can also team up to kill and eat caimans/crocodiles. 
> 
> The real Lorne Michaels demands that his executive office behind the scenes of SNL be supplied with fresh popcorn at all times. That is LIVING.


End file.
